Being a caregiver is a very special job. You do not select it. It selects you. In our case, it was our wonderful, caring, considerate, talented mother. When we were young she took us and molded us to the way she wanted us to be. She did the best she could with what she had. A great husband, loving close knit family. Mom was every ones hero. Then why did she have to suffer with the cruelest most devastating disease ever. Alzheimer's. She didn't deserve this. No one who loved her did. First I was angry and very impatient. "What do you mean where did I get this recipe from???" Grrrrr... Until one day sitting with her in her former surroundings, this very fine elegant epitome of a lady, was enjoying the happy meal I had picked up for her at McDonald's. There we sat at her dining room table, (I did set the table with china and silver the way she always would) she was looking around admiring this beautiful home. I was wondering what I could do to pass the time. I know, I will take out the 50th wedding anniversary book we put together for them.. It was the BEST thing we ever did. All of her friends wrote about the good times they had when they were younger. I always loved reading all the funny and inspiring letters and poems that were sent. She had a very talented clever group of friends. As I was reading, I too was remembering the good times we shared. I started getting teary eyed and didn't want mom to see that. She hated when we were sad. When I looked up at her she too was crying. We both looked at each other and started to laugh. It was a true epiphany for me. It was like a brick hit me in the head. How dare I waste one single second feeling annoyed or put out because I had to take time out of my busy "life" to stay with my mother. You know what I realized that day? My mom WAS my life and I was CHOSEN for this special job. I went every day thereafter and savored the moments I was given with her. She knew I was there because I wanted to be with her. Yes, sometimes I would slip back to being busy with other things but she became my main priority. If one single person can have the epiphany that I had, this would have all been worth it. Love your parents and never ever take for granted that you will have another day with them. I never had any regrets about not telling my parents how much I love them and not seeing them enough Only now do I wish I had one more day to tell them again.....
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4 comments:
Barbara Great video of your Mom, she was and is a special person, as was your Dad. They will always have a special place in my heart. As for angels helpers and care givers, God only chooses the winners for that position God Bless you and your family
Unbelievable video. Brought tears to my eyes. You all are such a close family, through so much. I'll never forget that Christmas in Miller Place when your Dad was Santa for Dawn. I'll never forget how you all helped with Val. I'll never forget how we would just take stuff from each other's freezers when we needed it, and how you started your kids on frozen peas and carrots as treats. And I'll never forget what happened to your pet fish. I always feel warm and fuzzy when I think of your smiling faces, your caring family and how you always made us feel part of that caring family. We are honored to be part of your lives and love you all so very much.
The slide show has moved me to tears. So much love and happy times to remember your mother by. You have a lovely family and I knew you were special when I met you, just as Gabriella did. The song, the photos from the beginning to the end was edited just perfect. Lots of time was spent I can tell. I am into the arts as well, so I recognize it when I see it. The end with her hands and the rainbow. Wow, I feel like I knew her. Well I guess I do know her through you and the woman that you are. God Bless you and your family and I am so HAPPY that we have met. Gabriella and I are lucky to have you as a wonderful addition to our life. Love, Charissa, Gabriella and Zachary
Barb,
I haven't stopped crying.... it was touching, evoked memories from days gone by, guilt about my own mom...and dad, and my heart ached, for you, for me, for what was and what will be. through this wonderful window you created, saw your world,your family, your mom your dad...again. they were so much a part of my world too.
You are amazing... you have a special God given talent, you always did, only now you have poured all the love, joy, and family into what has turned out to be a spectacular blessing to everyone, an exquisite piece of art featuring the love of, and for, your mom and dad. You are beautiful inside and out, always were, always will be.
And I love you. always did, always will. May God bless you always.
Ang
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